Dear Dad,
I wish I could say that I’ve changed, but I don’t know that I have…at all. I’ve found someone I want to love and make happy and wake up next to for the rest of my life. And as soon as we’re established enough, we’re getting married. I’m going to go to school soon and major in Communications. I figure it’ll be useful in all areas of business and human resources?…I could do.
I still assist in drama classes at church and sometimes perform with the kids. But my dreams of being a drama teacher have somewhat faded as I put them on hold to chase a career with a more progressive promise regarding its monetary value.
I’m not going to lie, I’ve found it hard to cope this time. I’ve struggled with a lot of emotion but this is what I know: You are my father and I will always love you as such. I understand that you’ve done some very wrong things but I have to somehow and eventually get beyond the past. The past breaks my heart, but the future can be better. It has to be. I’m sorry that your life has been such a struggle and that things have not gone as you planned. We all have to believe in the hope of a better future.
I hope that we can all make the best of our situations and not abuse our lives by allowing the value to depreciate, even in our own minds. May God speak to all of us individually and allow us each to grow in Him and maybe one day we could grow together.
I will not pretend that it was all bad. My graduation was the happiest day of my life and you were a part of that.
I want this family to be whole as individuals, but all I can do is allow God to heal me. So far it’s been quite a process. But God has never let me go and until I allow myself to move on or at least begin to, I feel a conviction that I won’t experience the peace that God intended for me to have right now-not later. And I’m only screwing myself over in the meantime. I know I can be truly happy with my life right now and that is my only hope for a better tomorrow.
Always Your Daughter,
“Jane”