I’m picking me apart again. I’m starting from the beginning. I’m remembering who I am and finding my bearings. I’m over this confusion. My confidence in who I am and what I stand for has NOTHING to do with the emotional state of ANYONE close to me. I love them all/him very much but I’m over this. I’m not going to be an emotional wreck just for a short-term establishment of sanity. It doesn’t last and it isn’t based on a strong foundation. I have to do what’s best for me and focus more on that. Remember my whole thing about two wholes are the only thing that can make a whole relationship? I won’t be a half for ANYONE. People change, but I shouldn’t change for people. I have to be me.
My legs are shaky stepping out, but deep down I know where my strength comes from. It doesn’t come from any person, it doesn’t come from a tangible source. My source is far within me and has never left. I am strong from within. I will not ask for pity, for emotional direction, and I am not reliant on any tangible source. People will fuck you up. I don’t have any responsibilities other than my own well-being. I’m not out to screw anyone over, but I can’t sacrifice myself because someone’s uncomfortable/unsupportive of my happiness. Screw it. I’m over it. I’m breaking the habit of tripping over myself to make someone happy when I’m not the one who can make them happy anyway. Screw it. THIS. IS. MY. LIFE. And I’m the only one who’s going to live it.

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